Just Slaves to the Algorithm

The Struggle

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Once again, I’ve been struggling to think of what to post for this week’s Weekly Thoughts. Which is a shame considering this is only the second week of me doing these. But something I’ve realized in that lack of ideas, is that we’re almost always destined for burnout. I quit my last job because I was burnt out; I was having panic attacks and mental breakdowns almost daily before going in. I quit two separate side hustles because I couldn’t keep up with the demand of building an audience. And now I’m doing this, running a blog, trying to make writing, my passion, into my job. It’s what I’ve always dreamed of, and yet, I’m worried that I’ll once again burn out. I haven’t reached that point yet, but it is a genuine concern for me.

I was talking to my boyfriend about how I couldn’t think of what to post today. I told him how I wish I didn’t have to post weekly, but all the blog advice I read said to post often to build a following. And I realized that that’s been the issue with every entrepreneurial venture I’ve tried. At first my thought was, “Oh, it’s just because I’m an introvert,” but then I thought of every Youtube video and Tik Tok post I’ve seen where someone complained about the size of their audience or how they couldn’t say certain words or how their content is being suppressed by the algorithm. The fucking algorithm.

The Realization

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Now, keep in mind that these Weekly Thoughts posts are meant to be lowkey, so I haven’t done any actual research on this, but I do have some thoughts, the main one being that, even with passion projects and artistic endeavors, we are stuck under the boot of capitalism.

Everyone talks about the algorithm like it’s this omnipotent being: it sees all, it knows all, it controls everything. But the real beasts pulling the strings are corporations. Corporations want money (as if they don’t have more than enough already), and to get money, they need to advertise. To advertise, they flood our every second of downtime with commercials, billboards, sponsored videos, product placements, banners, pop ups. And they need to be picky with where they put these ads because where an ad is placed becomes associated with the brand itself. God forbid Home Depot put a thirty second ad before a video where they say “fuck” in the first minute! (And yet they give money to certain politicians who do much worse than swear, but I digress.)

Point is, even if you manage to avoid the agonizing grind of a nine to five, you haven’t escaped capitalism. You’re still working for a corporation because, if you want to make money doing what you love, you have to post about it, and if you want anyone to actually see your posts, you have to cater to the goddamn algorithm.

The Enemy

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Again, I’ve not done any research on this, and I haven’t read 1984 by George Orwell, but I know a little bit about the story’s Thought Police. From my understanding, the Thought Police would punish people for having anti-government or otherwise “impure” thoughts. This also makes me think of Jeremy Bentham’s idea of the Panopticon. The Panopticon is a concept for a circular shaped prison with a guard tower in the middle. The idea is that, since the prisoners never know if there is a guard in the tower, they never know if they’re being watched or not. Since they can never know if they’re being watched, they always act as if they’re being watched, just in case, thus policing themselves.

Now in case it’s not obvious why these two things come to mind when I think about the algorithm, let me spell it out for you: we are always being watched by the algorithm. Everything we say online is being judged and assessed by ones and zeros designed by corporations to make sure we’re worthy of being their billboards. People who make it their job to report news on Tik Tok are forced to say words like “sewer slide”, “grape”, and “un-alive” instead of using the words “suicide”, “rape”, and “murder” for fear of upsetting the almighty algorithm. Youtubers stop themselves from swearing at all or censoring the first minute of their videos to keep the algorithm happy. People have to use code words to talk about protests, Nazis, fucking genocide because, if they use the actual, real life word that carries weight and substance, they will be ignored by the fucking algorithm, and the news won’t be spread. We are policing ourselves because, even in our free time, even in our activism, even in our art, we are under the thumb of capitalism. The corporations rule our tongues. We are not free to speak.

A Possible Solution

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I’ll admit, that was a bit of a tangent, but, trust me, this wraps back around to me struggling to think of what to post every week. The only reason I feel pressured to post weekly is because, if I don’t post often enough, the algorithm won’t show my social media posts or my website to people. If my posts aren’t shown to people, then my audience will continue to consist of my friends, my family, and my partner. If those people are the only audience I get, then this will never become a way to make any kind of money, which means that, if I want to get my own place with my partner, I’d have to get any job that’ll take me and sacrifice my own mental health to afford rent. So I’m stuck. I have no choice but to post often, because, if I don’t, I won’t be able to make money by doing what I love. I can fight in little ways, like using crude language and the proper words for violent acts and violent people, but with this small rebellion comes the knowledge that my stubbornness and refusal to censor myself will limit my growth. I will have to be patient. But I can be patient. I can be patient.

But I’ll still (try to) post often, on here and on my socials. And if someone tries to sponsor me, there’s a good chance I’ll take it. Rebellion or not, I still need money to live. I may be stuck under capitalism, but I can still scratch and claw and spit and fight and make myself something hard to swallow. I’ll fight with the rage of a cornered prey animal, just for a chance at a joyous life.

This is the only solution I can think of: doing what you need to to survive, but finding small acts of rebellion to help your soul survive as well as your body. Remember that those small acts build up, that every action doesn’t need to be large and grandiose. Fight any way you can, not just against the algorithm, but… you know. You’ve seen the news.

I hope you liked my thoughts for this week. I’ll probably explore this idea of small rebellions a little more once I get to writing that essay about joy as an act of rebellion. Anyway. Fight the power. Treat yourself. Bye bye.